Carbon lifeforms use frozen water ritual to cure ailments: biologists


A witch-doctor performs the ritual.

A PRIMITIVE race inhabiting a rock planet on the outer reaches of the galaxy have adopted a ritual using frozen water to try and cure their ailments, a biology expedition has revealed.

A team from the University of Galactic Centre uncovered the behaviour during their orbital observation of the planet.

Team leader Doctor Canneatebe Trainnslayted said it appeared as though some of the species’ leaders and witch-doctors had sacrificed themselves by pouring a solidified version of dihydrogen oxide over their heads.

“This sensation would be unpleasant to most homo sapiens, who usually would not bathe in this frozen version of the substance due to its extreme temperature,” he said.

“We believe the witch-doctors perform this ritual to summon a malevolent deity known as ‘Money’, who they believe will use its supernatural power to infect the species’ scientists with the knowledge necessary to cure the disease.” Read more of this post


Guardians of the Galaxy: the 21st century Star Wars film fans wanted

YES, I’ve come late to the ‘ZOMG Guardians of the Galaxy’ party. Yes, this bandwagon is so laden with comic and sci-fi geeks that the horses are struggling to move and the wheels are threatening to collapse. Yes, jokes in sets of three are becoming a really tired writing trope.

But please, grant me this indulgence as I write about the latest instalment in the increasingly convoluted Marvel motion picture franchise. Or at least tolerate it, since I’m writing about it whether you like it or not and it will make things more comfortable for both of us. Read more of this post

Time on their side – a sledgehammer parable

November 30, 2023: NYTGoogle News’ East Australia correspondent Sugah Delancey reports from the Gold Coast about the ongoing Queensland-Tweed Territory conflict.

THE sound of crashing waves battle for dominance with the siren call emanating from speakers littered along the beach.

Thirty seconds into the mechanical wailing, a rocket falls from the sky and smashes into the swell, casting a plume of water less than 50 metres from the shore. Read more of this post

Tommy, Tommy will tear us apart again

PEOPLE were throwing stuff at me, talking over the movie and acting in the most obnoxious way possible. It was the best trip to the cinema I’ve ever experienced. Read more of this post